Who is this silly man?

And what does he want? Why is he gracing this page with that foul odour. Is it a bird, is it a plane, is it a slice of Stinking Bishop... noooo it's...

Yes folks it's Captain Cheeseball. He may look like a cheap ripoff of a Disney character with Batfink's wings, a blatantly photoshopped C and Zorro's hat but let me assure you he is aaaaaalllllllll superhero. Yes he smells pretty bad. Yes you could easily be standing next to Mr Incredible in a cheap fancy dress suit but Captain Cheeseball means business.

He can fly for a start (well kind of), you don't see Mr Incredible flying do you? Or Batfink. Or Zorro for that matter. He's just got a rubbish bendy sword and that's not much use when there are bad guys to kapow with this giant cheesy fist:

(Mind you don't lose your hat Cap'n)

Captain Cheeseball guards jonny69.co.uk with his life. He's not just here for the cheese rating. Captain Cheeseball doesn't need sleep. He lives by hanging upside down in the rafters of Jonny69 Towers wafting a bad whiff of ripe brie into the atmosphere. He lives by night fluttering around the skies like a smelly moth sprinkling that cheap non-parmesan Italian cheese powder.

Keep an eye out for Captain Cheeseball's Captain Cheeseball rating. The more cheesy it is the more Captain Cheeseballs there are...